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Thursday, 28 August 2014

What are you thinking is what you’ll attract

How many times have you heard this? Do you believe it to be true?

Or to put it another way:

"The mind is everything. What you think you become." - Buddha: was a sage on whose teachings Buddhism was founded

How many times have you got out of bed in the morning and stubbed your toe for example and said to yourself “Oh brilliant, that’s how my day is gonna be is it?” and you dwelled on it, only for things throughout the day to seemingly go awry.

I know this sounds unbelievable, you attracted it!! 

How about someone in your dim and distant past telling you that you would never amount to anything on a reasonably regular basis, how did that pan out?

When I first starting working my way up the career ladder, I had some of my colleagues (who I considered friends) telling me that I’d not talk to them now I was on the way up, this confused me as I was the same person, I just wasn’t satisfied doing the dull job with minimal cranial stimulation and low wages. I knew there was a more stretching role for me and I went for it every time opportunity knocked.

It came true though, not through my actions but through theirs. Whenever I saw them I’d make conversation and be met by many with sneers about how I’d be lowering myself to talk to them, how ridiculous was that?

It took me many years to work out that it was their issue not mine.  Their beliefs became their own self fulfilling promise. Many, in fact nearly all, of them 25 years later were still doing the same jobs.  That is when I worked it out.

What you think you become, when you set yourself low aspirations it’s easy to achieve them much easier than reaching much bigger goals.






What motivates you?

I know this is a typical coaches question, do you know the answer though?

I get a lot of people tell me that they're not motivated by money.  And I’m in no doubt that this may be true for a great many people.  I am going to say right now that I am motivated by money, from the perspective that if I don’t earn some, who is going to pay my bills?  Who is going to pay my rent?  Who is going to pay for the stuff my son needs?

"It's not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for." - Robert Kiyosaki: author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad

You see, and I remember Pete the scrap metal merchant in Quadrophenia saying to the young mod Jim when he showed up at the scrap yard rather than working – “if you don’t work, you don’t get any money, and I like money” probably the most honest thing on celluloid.

I sense a challenge for you, next time you don’t consider yourself motivated by money, when Monday morning comes around, try staying at home, in fact do it for a week, when you don’t get paid for that week, how motivated will you be to go to work the following Monday?  Is for the work you do or is it the reward you get following the work you’ve done?

Now how about if you could do the work once, and get paid over and over for it?  Wouldn’t that be more like it?  Do the work once, and then spend time with your loved ones, go on holiday and when you return there is more in your bank account than when you left, does that appeal?
Well that’s exactly what many people are discovering is possible, if you’d like to join them, chuck your email address and name in the form over to the right and you’ll be sent details of how this can be possible for people like you and me.

Still not motivated by money? Winking smile


Tuesday, 12 August 2014

What goes on inside the mind?

I was prompted to write this hearing the tragic news concerning the apparent suicide of actor and comedian Robin Williams.

On TV and at the movies, you and I saw a happy, successful actor and comedian, but what was his self talk?

It would appear from the various media reports that he had been battling some personal demons.  We never know what is going on inside someone's head.

You see, each and every one of us has an internal voice.  We all have self talk.

Our self talk can be the best thing since the proverbial sliced bread, it can aid us in times of self doubt, your internal voice is the one that says "go on do it, what harm can come of it!".

However there is the opposite, there is the voice of doom, the one that sabotages your confidence, saps you of your 'mojo', keeps you from achieving greatness, greatness in your terms no one else's.

You see, when you lack confidence and the internal voice that gives you self talk fails to big you up, your own expectations drop and therefore when you don't achieve the things you want to, you confirm to yourself the self talk.  Its a self fulfilling prophecy, and so is the alternative.

The alternative confident voice brings on self fulfilling thoughts, which leads to self fulfilling behaviours which can exceed your own expectations.

Sign up to the right of this post and in the series of gifts, you'll receive an ebook containing tips in overcoming self defeating behaviours.

That just leaves me to sign off, nanoo nanoo!!

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

What scares you? Do you have faith?

What scares you from taking that first step towards your goals?

Is fear of success or fear of failure?  Who are you doubting, yourself or those around you, the naysayers?

Do you have faith to keep taking the steps you need to to get where you want to be?

I recently read the following quote and it got me thinking:

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
- Martin Luther King Jr

I've always tried to live for the moment, and in the moment, and it has cost me dear and I've not reached the goals I set myself.  That also got me thinking; who is going to take care of me when I'm old and grey if I don't continue to do what I need to do to secure my future? 

You? My friends who will also be old and grey?

You see, I'm at that time of life when my son soon won't be "needing" me so much, he's planning to go off to university, he's learning to drive and has purchased his first car.  It'll be me and my lovely partner who'll be here.

So I've resolved to review and reset my goals and go for them, no one else will but me, and I'm doing it on faith, I don't know what's round the corner, I don't know whether I'll get there, but I know that if I don't simply take that step I'll never know and that is my biggest fear, not finding out whether I can.

I'm very fortunate to have some very wise people around me, I have a wise future father-in-law who has an equestrian background, and his favourite saying regarding people in the equestrian world is that "some people know a lot about horses and horse behaviour, but they don't know what they don't know." how true is that about me and you? I don't know what I don't know, but I'm willing to find out what I don't know so I can reach my goals.

I'm doing it on faith that the staircase referred to above will show itself one step at a time as long as I keep taking steps, will you?


Monday, 23 June 2014

Dealing with Loathsome People - RobertRinger.com

Here's an awesome article from Robert Ringer, I just love the pseudonym given.



Robert speaks what to me are common sense words and I've found his articles very thought provoking and insightful, what do you think?



I was talking to a friend (“Bill”) a few weeks ago, and in the course of our conversation he happened to mention something about the business troubles Dexter Windbag (pseudonym) had encountered in recent years.  I had no idea the guy was still alive, and had no interest in hearing about his troubles.

Nevertheless, my friend proceeded to tell me how Windbag had been ousted as a director and spokesman for a multi-level marketing company for misstating his academic credentials.  In Windbag’s official bio, which he used to rise to the top of the professional speaking world, he claimed to have both a master’s degree and a Ph.D.  However, investigators apparently found that the school from which he claimed to have acquired his master’s degree had no record of him ever attending that school.

Further, the university from which he claimed to have a Ph.D. was unaccredited, and had closed down after only sixteen years of existence.  Conveniently, the former president of the university claims that Windbag’s records have been lost, and Windbag himself says that he doesn't have a copy of his doctoral dissertation.

Why was my friend telling me all this?  Because clear back in the 1970s, Bill, who also was a professional speaker, had called me one day and asked if I had heard what Dexter Windbag had said about me on his new audio album.  I told him that not only had I not heard it, I didn't even know who Dexter Windbag was.

Whereupon Bill informed me that Windbag was a highly successful professional speaker with a squeaky clean image.  His credentials were impeccable — former military officer, high-level education credentials, and lots of big-name endorsements.

Bill volunteered to send me the audio tape that contained Dexter Windbag’s remarks about me and my first book, Winning Through Intimidation.  If it were today, I wouldn't even bother to listen to it, but at the time I was a newly minted bestselling author, and my curiosity/annoyance factor got the best of me — curious as to why a supposedly highly respected man, who made his living preaching about such qualities as virtue, character, morality, and integrity, would say anything negative about someone he had never even met.

When the tape arrived, I put it in my Sony cassette player and began listening to it.  The first thing that surprised me was that Windbag, notwithstanding his reputation as a big-time professional speaker, was not even an average speaker.  I clearly recall how surprised I was by that.  (In a later article, I’ll address the phenomenon of how low-skilled, untalented people sometimes stumble into situations that lead to their becoming accidents of history.  It’s a kind of randomness, and it occurs more often than most people realize.)

After listening to the tape for ten minutes or so, from out of nowhere — Bam! — Dexter Windbag, the epitome of virtuousness, suddenly blurted out my name and the title of my book.  Even though Bill had told me about it, it still took me aback.  It was a very long time ago, so I can’t recall Dexter Windbag’s exact words, but I sure remember the sum and substance of what he said, and here’s a close paraphrase: “Can you imagine someone writing a book with a title like Winning Through Intimidation?  What kind of person would promote the idea that the way to get ahead in life is to bully others?”  (Again, this is a paraphrase; the quote marks are only for the purpose of setting it off.)

Obviously, Dexter hadn't read my book, but I had already gotten used to critics taking shots at me without even going to the trouble of actually reading my words.  But this guy wasn't a critic.  

He was a motivational speaker who had clearly succeeding in creating an image of his integrity being beyond reproach.  Yet here he was, this paragon of virtue, using my good name and work to puff up his own image by feigning disgust and outrage.  My first thought was, “Who in the hell is this self-righteous jerk?”

I would be inclined to say that it was just a matter of jealousy, but I think it was even worse than that.  My theory is that people like this are so narcissistic that they will do anything to pump up their egos — whether it’s lying about their credentials or lying about a person they don’t know or a book they've never read.

Unfortunately, Dexter Windbag is not alone.  There are a lot of self-important people in this world who not only will do anything to feed their narcissistic appetites, they also come to believe their own B.S. to such an extreme that they live in an alternate universe.  I have a hunch I’m on pretty safe ground if I assume that you've known more than one Dexter Windbag in your time.

You might think that I’m smiling at his fall from grace, but I’m not.  I've been around too long for things like this to surprise me.  On the contrary, being the kind-hearted soul that I am, I have the utmost sympathy for people who are afflicted with serious diseases.

Specifically, in Dexter’s case, I’m talking about the dreaded ANEL Disease — ANEL being an acronym for arrogance, narcissism, egomania, and lying.  ANEL-afflicted people are almost as dangerous as serial killers, because their self-love gives them the justification for resorting to anything that will further their insatiable appetites for self-aggrandizement.

David Ogilvy, “The Father of Advertising,” once gave the best advice I know of when it comes to handling people afflicted with ANEL Disease when he said (pardon my slight customization of his words), “When a man boasts about his integrity, or a woman about her virtue, avoid the former and cultivate the latter.”

Thoreau put it even more succinctly when he proclaimed, “There are nine hundred and ninety-nine patrons of virtue to one virtuous man.”

And, finally, Ringer said:  “Ignore annoying people, move on with your life, and leave it to nature to straighten everything out over the long term.”

Robert Ringer is an American icon whose unique insights into life have helped millions of readers worldwide. He is also the author of two New York Times #1 bestselling books, both of which have been listed by The New York Times among the 15 best-selling motivational books of all time

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

The Benefits of Using a Coach

Professional coaching brings many wonderful benefits: fresh perspectives on personal challenges, enhanced decision-making skills, greater interpersonal effectiveness, and increased confidence. And, the list does not end there. Those who undertake coaching also can expect appreciable improvement in productivity, satisfaction with life and work, and the attainment of relevant goals.

Increased Productivity

Professional coaching maximizes potential and, therefore, unlocks latent sources of productivity.
Increased Productivity graph

Positive People

Building the self-confidence of employees to face challenges is critical in meeting organizational demands.
Positive People graph

Return on Investment

Coaching generates learning and clarity for forward action with a commitment to measurable outcomes.The vast majority of companies (86%) say they at least made their investment back.
86 percent ROI graph

Satisfied Clients

Virtually all companies and individuals who hire a coach are satisfied.
Satisfied clients graph


More information on benefits of coaching can be found in the ICF Research Portal, including case studies and industry reports.
Source: ICF Global Coaching Client Study was commissioned by the ICF but conducted independently by PricewaterhouseCoopers.

Sunday, 15 June 2014

Goal Setting - The Basics

Do you set goals?

How do you know you're getting where you want to be without goals?

See the previous posts from Zig Ziglar about goals, now it doesn't have to be that complicated it could be much more simplified and I'll be doing that in the posts coming soon.

Enjoy the videos though.

Paul

Zig Ziglar Setting Goals 3 of 3

Zig Ziglar Setting Goals 2 of 3

Goal Setting - Zig Ziglar Setting Goals 1 of 3